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Living one awkward moment after another.
Awkward Moment #5
So…I decided to walk the dog this morning… …and after bundling (me and the dog) because of the arctic temperatures, I headed out the door. Upon stepping off my porch, my nose hairs froze to my boogies. That’s how cold it was!! I walked my usual route with the dog. Down the street…right at the light…right at the first corner…and head back because I’m lazy. (sometimes I’ll loop the entire block, but this particular day was way too cold.) We arrived at the light and the dog decided to do his business on a patch of snow. As he squatted I reached for a poop bag and just my luck…I forgot to bring one with me!! Here is my dog pooping at a stop light with cars backed up watching the owner look for a bag. Awkward! What should I do? Pick it up with my hands…nope. Just walk away like a jerk…possibly. I waited for the light to change, but just as the few cars pulled away, a new crop of cars pulled up to the red light. Crap!! I dialed home to explain my situation…the wife told me to run. As the second set of lights changed…all cars cleared out…and I made a run for it. I completely ignored the cars facing me at the gas station and ran half a block to my house. I should have just grabbed a bag when I got home and cleaned up my predicament, but I didn’t want to return to the scene of the crime. For all I knew, there were cops putting up police tape around the turd and interviewing other dogs in the neighborhood. I took a quick drive to the bagel store and everything looked calm. I looked out the window all day and hoped I wouldn’t get questioned. I tried to keep busy to keep my mind off the crime. Later in the evening, I bundled both of us up again and headed out with two bags…just in case. The pooch did his business…I picked it up and headed out. On my way home, I picked up the evidence from the morning’s crime scene. It had frozen over, but I feel I did the right thing. Photo Attribution: Shitting Dog |
Themed by Shiftcomma3
